


All These Years

by musicsetsyoufree



Series: One-Shots Based On Songs [2]
Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Sorry Not Sorry, Still Good! Please Read:)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 05:39:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14742974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicsetsyoufree/pseuds/musicsetsyoufree
Summary: Even after all these years, Camila's heart still yearns for her.





	All These Years

**Author's Note:**

> hey so I'm going through a bad time right now, needed to get this out. Thank you for reading, means a lot.

Camila felt free. She had finally left Fifth Harmony. Things hadn’t been good, not for a while. Everything had began to spiral out of control when she had done her first collaboration with Shawn Mendes. _Nice guy, very nice dude,_ she thought fondly. She had felt truly happy when she had been working with him; felt the opposite when she came back to the grim faces of her bandmates.

 

It had been several months; now it was late February. She had managed not to think about any of _them_ for a few days, but with her birthday approaching, all she felt was dread. She knew none of them would post for her birthday. Nothing was the same as before, everything had shattered into a million pieces.

 

Camila remembered her last happy memory. She had been with her best friend Dinah Jane, out under the stars, at the beach. The taller girl had been comforting her, because of… _tragic_ events which had taken place. With— no, Camila doesn’t think about _her_ anymore. Not since— _anyway_ , moving on… her best friend Dinah.

 

She remembered every detail: the beautiful sky. The stars shining bright down on her. The moon was not visible. The sound of the ocean, the waves slapping down on the sand, repeatedly, on and on and on. The slight rustling of nearby trees. Dinah’s gentle voice, telling her Camila was strong, that she didn’t judge her, that she would always love her, no matter what.

 

Ha! Except then Camila had up and left Fifth Harmony, without telling the others. (Though, she argued, they could’ve inferred what was inevitably going to happen.) Camila brought her hands up to her face; tears were starting to fall. The memory was tainted— her whole world hadn’t fallen apart yet. Not then.

 

But now it was; it was completely destroyed. They all still followed each other on Instagram, but that only made things worse. Their posts constantly popped up in her feed, and so lately Camila had taken to not going on Instagram much. One day, she was sure she would unfollow them all. It was too much to bear. Too much.

 

Still, Camila felt free. Here she was, in her home Miami, in a hotel. She had more than enough money to waste on living in hotels. Even now, she still couldn’t sleep in her room. In her bed. Her bed, where so many lovely times had taken place with—

 

She was sitting on the balcony, her feet propped up on the side railing. She had a notebook in her lap, a chewed pencil in her hand. Lyrics. She needed lyrics.

 

Where was inspiration for lyrics? She had already written out most of the lyrics for _I Have Questions, She Loves Control, Never Be the Same,_ and _Consequences_. What else was there?

 

Then a memory came through. Broke through her mental barrier. It wasn’t welcome.

 

_Camila walked out of the recording room. She was just finishing up_ I Have Questions _, and she felt proud of it. She’d worked out a line that hadn’t sounded quite right, and sang it out correctly. All those questions. Camila knew she would never again see the one that the questions were directed towards. She had left on very bad terms._

 

_Pushing the door open, the newly solo singer looked up. Her heart stopped._

 

_Right there. Standing there. It was_ her _. Her hair was a little longer, her arms a little stronger. Her green eyes hadn’t changed. She had a carefree smile on her face._

 

_Camila was rooted to the spot. Here_ she _was, yet it wasn’t possible. They would never see each other again, or so she’d believed._

 

_Every memory came back. Soft touches, gentle smiles, deep conversations. The sun and the moon._

 

_Green eyes met brown._ She _was in a hurry, Camila could tell. As they passed one another, all she got was a quick “hello” and then they were on their way. Both sets of legs moved in sync, carrying each other farther away from each other._

 

_Step, step, yet another step. She would never see_ her _again._

 

_She would never be able to tell her._

 

Camila violently shook her head. She had to gain control over her thoughts, and not let old memories resurface. It could be very detrimental to the progress she had made to move on. No kidding, it _would_ be if she kept thinking about it all.

 

Camila lifted her pencil to the paper. There was nothing to write about.

 

_Maybe,_ she thought to herself. _Maybe, I’ll just write that memory into a song. Writing music sets you free_ — she was a strong believer in that phrase, which she had once read in a tumblr post somewhere. Perhaps Camila could write everything out into the song, and then lock it away. Forever.

 

The words came out quick. She feverishly wrote, the recent memory fiery bright in her mind. The studio booth. How _she_ looked. Everything.

 

But she still didn’t have a main line. What should it be called?

 

_I can’t believe… even after all these years, I still love her. I can’t believe_ — Camila cut off her thought process quickly. _After All These Years_ , she thought. _That sounds good_.

 

_No… that’s too long,_ she decided after giving it a second thought. _I got it: All These Years._

 

As Camila wrote the words down, a tear fell. _After all these years, I’m still after you,_ she thought. _And you will never know. I overheard you; is Lucy really that great? But does she kiss you like I did? No one can love you like I loved you._

 

_You probably will never know._

 

_You’re the one I’m after, even after all these years._

 

_I never told you. I should’ve told you._

 

The entire song, the whole set of lyrics was complete. Camila looked over the messily scribbled words. _You’re still the one I’m after, all these years_.

 

She locked it all away in the song. Writing music sets you free; and so it did.

 

Camila felt free.

 

And yet, oddly, still weighed down.

 

_Even after all these years._

**Author's Note:**

> please leave a kudos?:)
> 
> pretty please with a tear drop on top?:/


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